she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
