cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize