But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
