What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
