I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
