Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize