i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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