yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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