And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the day after is always just damage control
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my poor anus
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize