if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
