we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
