I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
