i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
