Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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