____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
