Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
