apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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