I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
