Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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