Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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