is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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