bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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