Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
