got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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