Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
