I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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