i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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