U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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