we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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