So drunk its hurt
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i now understand why vodka
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