i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
