had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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