he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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