why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize