1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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