found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
