Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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