I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize