it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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