I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
