have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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