She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize