lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
