i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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