Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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