i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
