Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
