Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize