you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
