Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
