We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
