so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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