....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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