and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
