Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
