So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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