I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
